TO GET IN
TOUCH.
“ERIC” THE PIGEON’S
TOP 5 WAYS
NO ONE KNOWS MESSAGING LIKE A PIGEON.
FACTS.
#1. EMAIL
Solid, reliable. Ideal for gettin’ y’thoughts in order. Can’t fault it. I’m a fan. Send y’words here: gareth@straightfacts.co.uk.
#2. PHONE
I’m more of a perch on y’chimney n shout across rooftops kinda chap — let the world hear it, know whatta mean?
But you humans seem to enjoy talkin’ messages into phones, so here it is: 07885601238.
#3. FORM
Bit like email, except for it's a form. Let’s FACTS know what’s what without any awkward introduction. Plus, y’only have to scroll down to get started. Pigeon like efficiency.
#4. SOCIAL MEDIA
If y’must.
Listen, the approach is alright. A DM. It’s short n fast. A bit like me. I respect it. Problem is, y’have to be on social media to send one. But it is what it is. Here’s a LinkedIn for yer: LinkedIn.
#5. CARRIER PIGEON
AKA first class travel. AKA the best, most reliable n soddin’ hipster way of gettin’ in touch. But I can’t do owt about that last bit. Strap y’written message to a pigeon, whisper the address n send it on its way. Should be number #1.
Why isn’t it? Because I’m out the game. Retired three year ago. And if y’think I’m givin’ y’Carl’s details, y’got another thing comin’. AKA a white n brown blob from the sky. Oh yeah.